As I sat on the front pew of Share The Light Missionary Baptist church, I couldn’t help but notice how breathtaking the pastor looked. He had smooth dark skin, that was off-set by the steel grey colored suit he was wearing. He had salt and pepper colored hair, and a face free of wrinkles. He kept his hair cut low and his beard trimmed, to off-set his eyes, which were mesmerizing. He has lush full lips and was muscular in build. I stared at him lustfully. Wanting him. Needing him. My gaze was so intense, that I hadn’t noticed one of the elders trying to get my attention. “Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson.” she said. “Huh, oh yes, Hey Sister JoAnn, what’s the matter?” “This young lady needs to get in this pew.” she scoffed. I leaned back as the lady slid in and made herself comfortable. I turned my eyes back to the pastor and tried to focus on the sermon he was about to preach. He stood up to address the church, “Good morning church. I’d like to speak to you today from the book of Psalms, Psalms Chapter 109 verses 1-4. Pleas read with me: My God, whom I praise, do not remain silent, for people who are wicked and decietful have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues. With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause. In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer. You may be seating in the House of the Lord.”
We all took our seats and listened intently as the pastor begun his sermon. I pulled out my notepad so I could take notes of the random scriptures he’d refer to in relation to today’s sermon. “Today’s sermon is titled: How To Reveal Fake People In your Life.” he started. I heard of few of the member shout out things like “Amen.” or “Alright Pastor.” I glanced around to see if anyone had noticed my sudden shift in demeanor. Something about the pastor’s sermon had made me feel as if he was talking about me. Usually, I could get into the sermons and try to apply them to my everyday livings, but for some reason, today’s sermon felt personal. He continued, “As we take a look at verse 4. In return for my friendship, they accuse me. They accuse me. You want to befriend me so you can accuse me. You want me to get comfortable with you so you can accuse me. You want us to become buddy buddy so you can go and lie on me. Twist my words around. Make up things I didn’t say. See some of ya’ll in here know what I’m talking about. You and sister so and so become good friends, she tells you one thing, and you go back and twist her words. But look at that last part, I am a man of prayer. A man of prayer. Praying to God to expose their wicked truths. Expose their wicked ways. Expose their true intentions. The Lord says seek him for answers and all shall be revealed. If you start praying to the Lord and ask him to reveal these people with wicked tongues and decietful ways he will reveal them to you. But see if you go down to verse 15, where is says: May their sins always remain before the Lord, that he may blot out their name from the earth. You can’t mess with God’s children and not expect a consequence. God always has a plan for your enemies. That’s why there is no need for us to take matters in our own hands. If you pray to the Lord, he will have your back.”
I felt a chill run down my spine as he spoke the words of truth. The words of wisdom. A few months back I had taken matters into my own hands, which is what led me to getting back into the church. I walked in and found my husband in bed with another man. We had been married for eight years. I never suspected a thing. We made love on a regular basis and our relationship seemed like my happily ever after. Towards the end, I noticed minor changes, but nothing to raise an eyebrow at. Maybe I should have been raising an eyebrow, because that night changed my life forever. I was so overcome with rage, I grabbed a knife and stabbed both of them. My husband had so many stab wounds, that one of the injuries left him paralyzed on one side. His lover’s face was permanently disfigured. I was subsequently arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Because this was my first offense, and I was a prominent member of the community, I walked away with six years of probation and ordered to pay restitution to my husbands lover. My divorce was made final last Tuesday, and I had been praising God ever since. It was a rough divorce. He wanted half of everything I had. I wasn’t about to give him a dime. The attorney I had, found a clause in our prenuptial agreement, that stated if infedelity was a cause for break-up he would be entitled to only what he brought to the marriage. He brought nothing, which means he got nothing. Even though pastor’s sermon was about exposing the enemies for who they really are, I felt as is if my husband was exposed. If I had prayed to the Lord at that very moment, I wouldn’t be in these legal troubles. At least I’m not doing any prison time, so I am thankful for that.
“The doors of the church are open.” pastor stated. The pianist played the church song that went along with what the choir sang earlier. A few of us let out light hums as we swayed along to the music. A few people came down to give their lives over to Christ, or just to be prayed over. When no more members came forward, they were escorted out the side door and pastor started his closing of the service. After the benediction, I waited for the aisles to clear before I went to look for pastor. I finally spotted him talking to Deacon Smith by the choirroom door. “Excuse me Pastor!” I shouted. I waved my hand at him as I quickly moved through the plethora of people in the church. “Aww, Sister Johnson what can I do for you today?” he asked. “I need to speak to you for a moment in private.” I replied. “Ok, sure. Right this way.” he replied. He opened the door and I followed him down a long corridor to his office. He opened the door and motioned for me to take a seat. I sat down just as he closed the door. “So, Sister Johnson what can I do for you today?” “Well, I was just hoping you could be a listening ear for right now.” “Sure. Everyone needs to vent sometimes. I understand.” he assured. I started to tell him about my failed marriage and the whole thing about finding my husband in bed with a man. I told him some issues I had been having with my son. Ever since me and his father split, he has been very difficult to get along with. My son is 15. He knows about his father being found in bed with a man, but he’s having some self-esteem issues. Mainly his identity. While talking to pastor, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Pastor got up and walked around the desk and sat next to me. He hugged me. Hugged me tightly. The scent of his cologne awakened another part of me. A part of me I hadn’t felt in a long time. My cries started to subside as my thoughts about this man returned. His body so strong and firm. His breath so warm and soft. He was just the man I needed. I searched his hands and noticed the rather large wedding ring. I rolled my eyes at it, but told myself what his wife didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. I freed myself from his embrace and stared at him. I gazed into his eyes as they took me away. He stared back at me. Lost in thought. I was only supposed to be here for him to be a listening ear, and now I wanted him on top of me. A knock at the door, broke the gaze and a wave a heat went through me. “Whew. Thank you pastor for listening and comforting me.” I stated as I gathered my things. A petite tan woman peeked her head in the door. “Sweetie you ready to go?” she asked. I assumed she was his wife. “Yes, baby. In a minute.” he replied not taking his eyes off of me. “Sister Johnson, what are you doing here?” she asked just as chipper as can be. “I just needed a listening ear. You know with all that’s been going on, I just needed to vent.” “Yes girl, I completely understand.” she replied. “Well ya’ll take care. I have to go find my son.” I replied just as I exited the room.
When I stepped into the hallway, I felt strange. I felt a rush come over me. What was I doing. Lusting after a married man? A man of the church at that. This was not right. I needed to shake this. I reached for my hankerchief and patted my face dry. “Lord I don’t know what has come over me, but rebuke this spirit in the name of Jesus.” I prayed. I stood there for a few more minutes as I regained my composure and headed out to my car. Although, I wanted nothing to do with this man, something told me that this would not be my last time encountering him. The sad part is, I anticipate on that encounter.
Even thought this was written in response to https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/forbidden/ Stay tuned, there may be a part 2