Satan has access to the domain of darkness, but he can only occupy those areas where mankind, through sin, has allowed him.
Sitting at the desk in my office, my mind kept going bacl to Sunday. Sister Johnson had come into my office to talk about her personal issues. I listened to her intently and my heart went out to her. Finding her husband in bed with another man? I just couldn’t believe it. Brother Johnson was a good friend of mine and a loyal member of this church. The rumors had been spreading around the church for some time now, but we all turned a blind eye. It makes me wonder just how long he had been keeping this from everyone. Most of all how was he able to keep it from his wife. I hadn’t spoken to Brother Johnson in a few weeks, since his wife came forward with the accusations. We used to talk all the time. I had shunned away from him as I allowed my disgust from his actions consume me. I prayed on this situation for some time now and I just wasn’t quite ready to face him. My wife had been telling me that it is wrong for me to turn my back on one of God’s children. Being that I am a man of God, she was right. This made me look like a hypocrit in my right. I decided I’d pray on it a little harder before I made a decision to reach out to him.
No matter how hard I tried to focus on tonight’s sermon, my mind wandered back to Sister Johnson. I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t say I felt an attraction to her. It was almost magnetic. The look she gave me Sunday while sitting in this very room, sent a chill down my spine. Not only that she was beautiful. Gorgeous full-figured woman with curves in all the right places. That peach colored dress she wore complimented her skin perfectly as she was a smooth pecan tan complexion. I noticed her thong line through the thin material. Her perky breast sitting perfectly on her chest. I felt my manhood begin to rise as lustful thoughts clouded my mind. As a man of God, these thoughts were wrong, but they felt so right. I tried to push those images out of my mind and thought about my lovely wife of 5 years. She was a good woman. I met her just as I was beginning to start this church. We had one conversation and were inseparable ever since. She was the best thing that had happened to me since my brother got killed in a drive by shooting 7 years ago. I was devasted. I had turned to a life of drugs and alcohol to cope with the pain. One day I had gotten so drunk, I nearly killed myself. I was laying in the hospital bed recovering from alcohol poisoning, and I swear I could hear my brother speaking to me. The fact that I was able to see his face clear as day, provoked me to leave this life alone. I wasn’t ready to see death yet. I felt like God was not through with me yet. This was not the ending he had planned. That’s when I met Brother Newberry, at that time he was still preaching at his father’s church. He was the salvation I needed.
We met in Cape Villa Theological Seminary back in 2008, when I decided to enroll in school to be a minister. He had been preaching in his father’s church since he was a teenager, so he was familiar with the ins and outs of the ministry. He was there with me every step of the way. There were days I felt like giving up. There was once an instance I had contemplated on dropping out completely. I missed class one day, and he came to find me. I was laying in bed with my then girlfriend getting drunk. He stormed into the room, bible in hand and said “Here son. This will help you on your journey.” I chuckled and pushed it away. “Will you push God away? When judgement day comes will you chuckle at him? Will you give up on God the way you have given up on yourself?” I sat on the edge of the bed as his words pierced me like a knife. From that moment on, it was him who encouraged me. It was him who kept me focused on the right path. We finished school at the same time and remained good friends ever since. He and I both came from under our father’s shadow and started our own churches. His flourished into a mega church in less than a year’s time. I on the other hand had a little bit more work to do. Don’t get me wrong, my congregation has been very successful, however it has not reached it’s full potential. I know that on God’s time it will do so.
I reverted my attention back to the sermon I was working on and found myself thinking about Sister Johnson again. I placed my pin on my desk and closed my notebook. I decided some fresh air was what I needed to help regain my focus. Just as I opened my door, Sister Scott was standing there with her hand up preparing to knock. “Oh hello Pastor. How are you today? I just wanted to remind you that Sister Louise and her son will be here at 4 o’ clock today for counseling.” she informed. “Was that today? I thought sure I checked my calendar and they weren’t scheduled until tomorrow.” I questioned. “No Pastor. It’s today. I can reschedule if you want?” “Yes Sister Scott please do. I have to get my sermon wrote down for tonight. You know I’m the guest speaker at Minister Newberry’s church tonight.” “Oh that’s right! I completely forgot about that. I’ll reschedule this right away.” she replied as she turned to go back to her office. I eased past my wife’s office quietly so as not to disturb her. She was in counseling with a newly-wed couple. This was a requirement for me if I wed any couple in my church. Counseling was mandatory. I made my way out the back door, and found the bench near the pond. This place was absolutely beautiful. The grass was so rich with color. Neatly trimmed. The pond’s waves being caressed by the wind. The sun shining down at the right angle to reveal it’s glow. This was the perfect area to relax my mind and ease my lustful thoughts. I paced around the circle as my mind went in various directions. I thought about me an my wife’s anniversary coming up. I thought about the church and pastor’s anniversary coming up. There were so many things going on, and yet my mind stayed focused on one thing. Sister Johnson. I tried everything to get her out of my mind. Nothing worked. I fought hard not to let the spirits of sin consume me, but it got harder and harder to do. Maybe what I’m feeling isn’t real. Was this is just my mind playing tricks on me? I couldn’t figure it out. This was the first time in a long time I felt like this. Especially towards someone other than my wife.
A few moments later, I made my way back to the church and finished the sermon. Since I had some time to spare, I checked my calendar to see if there was anything on my schedule that could be moved up. When I got down to my 2 p.m hour, I choked. There her name was. Scheduled on my calendar for me to call her. Call her. My heart raced as I felt my palms get moist. I looked at the clock to see how much time I had before I had to make that call. “Good I have about a half an hour.” I mumbled. I searched through my desk draw for the number, and stared at it. I desparately wanted to talk to her. Feel her body against mine. This was wrong. I knew this was wrong. Everything in my heart and spirit kept telling me this was wrong. Entering into an adulterous affair went against everything I stood for. Even if it was just in thought. For the Lord says just the thought of sin, means you have committed it. I had to hear her voice. It was driving me insane. I rescheduled her call for the current time which was approximately 1:40 p.m. I picked up the phone and dialed her number.
Even though this was written in response to the daily post https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/darkness/ Stay tuned for part 3